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When Someone Cuts You Out of Their Life and Didn't Bother to Tell You Why

Published on 2nd May 2019

Within the past few years, I've had a series of friendships which all came to a sudden, screeching end. My friends literally stopped communicating with me and didn't bother to tell me why. 

Each of the experiences left me confused and hurt because I truly valued those relationships immensely. I felt bewildered because I believed we shared an open line of communication, where we could speak freely and openly about anything. I guess I was grossly mistaken.

My first re-action to the silence was to search myself to determine whether I may have done something to offend them, when I failed to find anything, I then sought to ask them. In one instance, I got a vague response and in another, no response at all, even after several inquisitions.

I experienced a series of emotions including rejection, disappointment and sadness but I mostly felt grief with a dash of confusion. It felt like I was mourning the lost of a loved one, except that they were still very much alive and my questions were still unanswered.

The more I thought about the situations, the more I wondered why and my desire to know kept haunting me. From time to time, when I felt overwhelmed by emotions I would reach out asking a question but was denied the satisfaction of a response. 

It is said that time heals all wounds but in these instances, it was acceptance that did the job. I eventually accepted the fact that I may never truly know why my cherished friends felt the need to stop being my friend. I also accepted that they were 100% entitled to do what they felt was best for them.

I believe all of our experiences provide us with feedback about ourselves and life in general. Relationships which is one of the most intense experiences we have serves, by pointing us to deeper insights about who we are and the mechanics of life.

While the continuous pattern of sudden relationship endings was without a doubt pointing me to a deeper understanding of myself and how I contributed to the less than desirable outcomes, I was more intrigued by gaining a deeper insight into why relationships end; whether it was from a slow death or a sudden tragedy.

1. Everything in this world of form has an expiration date